A Sure Sign of Spring

The Calgary Cow Painting Competition is in full swing again this year. For those who are not familiar with it, the cows, usually chosen for their docile behaviour, are hypnotized by trained professional cow hypnotists after which they stand perfectly still for 2 days while the competiton runs. All paints are water-soluble and are no danger to the cows. They are moved inside during incelement weather and at night where they are pampered to perfection.
Regrettably, vandals did take some bites from one of the chocolate cows before police could subdue them. Professional Cow Plastic Surgeons were flown in (free of charge) by the Carnation Milk Company to effect repairs. When asked why they picked up the tab for repairs, the Carnation spokesman said," We are udderly delighted to help maintain contented cows anywhere in the world."
Critics of the competition said it "de-humanized the cows", and that the organizers were "Bossy".
Organizers said they herd of the cowplaints, were disappointed the protesters were trying to horn in on the competition and milk it for their own purposes, but were not too concerned with this recent cow "flap" and they would "moove along" with plans for next year, just be cud they can.