Barbara Standley 1926 - 2007

My Mother died last week. Mom died quietly and peacefully, without pain and she did not die alone. My brother Tim was with her and we were just minutes behind. We had run home for some food and were heading back to the hospital when Tim called to say "It's over." Just like that - it's over.

My wife Carol was my mother's best friend. They had known each other before we got married and remained best friends until Mom died. Carol did more for my mother that I ever did and certainly more than my brothers. I regret that I didn't do more. I didn't neglect Mom - don't get me wrong - but I could have done more.

I called her several times a week to see how she was feeling and the answer was always the same, "I'm in a Nursing Home - I watch TV and I look out the window."

Mom was 80 when she died. She had a better life after she remarried.

My father was a mean drunk that hit his kids and his wife and Mom always defended us. She raised four boys on her own for several years.

Her second husband was a really nice man and they had 20 great years together until he passed away. I was glad for Mom. I thought she deserved a nice life.

At her funeral the Minister spoke to our Grandchildren about the stages of life. He said that Mom had changed to another stage of existence very much like a caterpillar changes to a butterfly. He asked them if they would like to put a butterfly sticker on the casket, which they did. He then asked if anyone else would like to put one on as well and, to my surprise, a number of people did. I will never look at butterflies the same from now on.

The photo I posted is Mom and my grandchildren. It is one of my favourites. We went through dozens of photographs of my mother recently and we could not find a photograph where Mom wasn't smiling. I think that's kind of neat. Mom was always smiling.

Mom loved to hug people. She said that it takes 4 hugs a day to survive, 6 hugs a day to maintain and 8 hugs a day to grow.

So, in honour of my Mom, please hug some people you love today. 8 times please.

Good bye Mom. I love you.